The answer to this question might come as a surprise.  Much to the chagrin of retailers, when women are asked what they really want for Valentine’s Day the answers usually revolve around kindness and gratitude.  We asked our fans via Facebook what they want for Valentine’s Day and most responded they hoped for small tokens of appreciation or special surprises.  One response came from an innkeeper on Cape Cod who explained that her best Valentine’s Day gift came from her husband who surprised her with a beautiful box filled with special messages of endearment and a heart shaped stone from the beach nearby.  Other women commented on how much they’d love that too.

In a Forbes.com story entitled “What Do Women Really Want For Valentine’s Day?” most women echoed the sentiment of our Facebook fans.  “If I could have anything this year, it would be nothing more than a heartfelt ‘thank you,’ since it’s one of the many things men have difficulty communicating,” said Jenna Walsh, an account executive in Boston, according to the article.  Meanwhile, Marissa Hermo of New York City explained she’d like her partner to let her “talk for a few hours and really listen”. Others like Jocelin Engel wish their partner would simply say “I love you.” Facebook fan, Carole Ballard, co-owner of Thurston House B&B said “I have always told my dear husband if he bought me anything like expensive jewelry or flowers on Valentine’s because he had to, I would kill him! I much prefer the little flower picked when coming in from the yard or the little note left in my suitcase when I travel alone.”

Yet the stakes are high

Like it or not, women expect something on Valentine’s Day and the more thoughtful the better. And guys – if you bring home sexy lingerie on Valentine’s Day, you’d better understand she means it when she says “you shouldn’t have!”. That’s a gift for you, not her.

While women like their men to be mind-readers and know exactly what they want, for most men clairvoyance is simply not in their genetic makeup.  Ladies, if you want something, you need to spill the beans, and the more detail the better.  The conventional wisdom among women is if they ask for a gift and get it, then it “doesn’t count”.  Women want their men to figure it out themselves.  So girls, if a romantic escape to a gorgeous country inn is what’s on your mind, don’t expect your man to know that.  Perhaps forward this blog with a “hint-hint” message, and a link to the DINE website.

In fact, more than 3600 travelers reported that a B&B getaway topped the list for Valentine’s Day gifts, according to a January, 2010 survey distributed by BedandBreakfast.com. More than one in three (the largest percentage) of the respondents answered they’d like a B&B getaway when BedandBreakfast.com asked what they wanted for Valentine’s Day, trouncing chocolates and romantic dinners. And while most women say they prefer the small sentimental gift, a number of those who responded on Facebook also mentioned that the flowers they received were among their favorite Valentine’s Day gifts.

According to Forbes.com, Marilyn Kagan, a psychotherapist and author in Los Angeles, advises couples to use Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to strengthen their relationship together. The tough economy, money and job concerns have likely taken a toll on your relationships.  Use the holiday as a good reason to rekindle the romance and focus in on what you love about one another sometime in February.

There you have it, men.  Input from psychotherapista and women themselves suggest sentimental gestures, gratitude, flowers, and romantic escapes will all be winners this Valentine’s Day.

Next up:  What do men really want for Valentine’s Day? Advice for women.

In this series, we’ve revealed that taking a trip always rates among the top ten resolutions people commit to each year.  Recently, an innkeeper shared with me that one of her guests decided that 2011 would be the year of fun.  Forget the weight loss; throw away the decision to cut back on the things you love.  Rarely do people ever come to the end of their life and wished they’d given up more sweets. Make this your year of laughter and fun too. 

Add a little inner peace to fun, and you’re in for a great 2011.   Here’s an idea from the Inn at Thorn Hill for a getaway that will combine two resolutions – taking a trip and lowering anxiety. 

Start the year by reaching inward. The Inn at Thorn Hill offers a number of spa packages encouraging you to connect with the body, mind an soul. The Ancient Thai Yoga Package will take you back in time with relaxing healing arts treatments derived from Thailand over 3,000 years ago, similar to Thai Yoga. Trained therapists will stretch your entire body from crown to toes and  recharge your body’s immune system as the therapist kneads the vital energy points of the body to exchange positive energy flow, which will in turn detoxify and cleanse the entire body’s system.  Called Revive Therapy this two hour package includes a full body therapeutic massage, healing skin care of the face and back, energetic balancing of the body including an energetic head and neck massage, facial, and body massage and Skin care treatment that penetrates thoroughly with hot stones and steamed towels infused with lavender, peppermint, and sweet orange essential oils.  Be sure to save enough time to add a spa lunch and enjoy the relaxing setting at the Inn at Jackson.  This package is $240 per person.  Add a spa lunch for $20 per person.  To completely fulfill your resolution for bettering your life, add a two day stay at the Inn at Jackson an renew and revive with the one you love.

Tell us your resolution.  How can DINE member inns help you find fun and fulfill your resolution this year?

In our last blog posting, we reminded readers that “taking a trip” is among the top ten New Year’s resolutions, according to USA.gov.  This three-part series is dedicated to helping travelers not only keep their New Year’s resolutions, but have fun in the persuit of wellness, happiness and romance in 2011.

Dr. Sanjay Gupta, CNN chief medical correspondent suggests that “you don’t make resolutions based on what is bothering you or what is on your mind at that time”.  Instead, make the fulfillment of the resolution fun, and you will insure that you stick to it.

We’ve polled members of the Distinctive Inns of New England and found a number of ideas for fulfilling fun-filled resolutions.  In Part I of  series we suggested learning to cook like an Italian through the Gateway Inn’s  Italian Cooking School series.  Next we’re going to explore the Stress Be Gone concept at the Rabbit Hill Inn.

Get a handle on stress with Stess-Be-Gone Getaway at Rabbit Hill Inn, Lower Waterford, VT

Here’s a getaway that fills the day with nothing but stress-reducers.  Long soaks in the whirlpool tub, a fire to read by and the kindness of award-winning innkeepers, this escape promises to offer plenty of post-holiday detox.  Add spending time with friends and family to this getaway, and you’ve got the perfect resolution solution. The Stress-Be Gone package includes two nights in a romantic room, a bottle of red or white wine awaiting in your room upon arrival, afternoon tea and pastries daily, an intimate fireside dinner and breakfast each day of your stay, lavender and candleglow turndown service, and a Stress-Be-Gone gift bag including Stress Soother, Sleep Balm and a CD of calming music.  Rates start at $645 per couple throughout the year except February Vacation Week and fall foliage season.  Info:  http://www.rabbithillinn.com or call 1-800-76-BUNNY.

According to USA.gov , taking a trip is among the top New Year’s resolutions year after year.  About.com  Pittsburgh contends that  recent polls conducted by General Nutrition Centers, Quicken, and others shows that more than 50% of Americans vow to appreciate loved ones and spend more time with family and friends this year.  This would lead one to believe that taking a trip to spend more quality time with friends and family rates high on many resolution-making travelers’ minds this year.

Whether taking a trip or spending more time with a loved one is one of your resolutions this year, both travel and quality time with the special people in your life is sure to rank high on your bucket list for 2011.  Let this be the year of travel for you.  Whether to learn a new skill, release stress or to spend quality time with a loved one, there are a number of options offered by Distinctive Inns of New England.  In a mulit-part series this blog will explore some of the ways that New England’s most distinctive inns can help you find solutions for your resolutions and enjoy every moment along the way.  Afterall, you’re much more likely to keep your resolution if you’re enjoying the process.

Resolution #1:  Learn a new skill.

Solution: Learn to cook like an Italian at Gateways Inn, Lenox, MA

How would you like to learn to cook like an authentic Italian Chef in one  weekend?  The Gateways Inn in Lenox, MA offers a total immersion into the unique and particular Regional Italian foods, flavors, wines and traditions at the Gateways Inn. You can choose a full weekend course or partial weekend options giving you more time to explore the Berkshires.

The Full weekend course includes an arrival evening social hour with Antipasti then dinner on Friday.  After breakfast on Saturday there are morning and afternoon cooking classes  with innkeeper Chef Rosemary Chiariello., lunch and another dinner. Sunday, after another breakfast look forward to a morning cooking class, followed by lunch. For those who’d rather dabble in the courses, full day or day-and-a-half programs are options too. The full weekend program is $240 per person, plus room costs, a one-day Saturday session is $135 per person.  There are options for those who’d like to attend meals but not cooking classes too.  Be sure to visit the Gateways package page for a full description and dates for each regional flavor.

Tune in next week for our next resolution solution package.